tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post3598009653599253561..comments2023-06-28T22:58:28.247+10:00Comments on Sixth In Line: That one day of the yearElisabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-38064641985846993702012-05-17T21:57:08.964+10:002012-05-17T21:57:08.964+10:00It was a commercial ploy to get people to send mon...<i>It was a commercial ploy to get people to send money</i><br /><br />Is that a typographical error? Did you mean to type (<i>spend</i> money? Or did your mother really say what you wrote?<br /><br />As I have a lot of time on my hands these days and am more than willing to serve as your surrogate mother (even though I am male), please send all of your money to me at your earliest opportunity and assuage your barely-suppressed guilt.rhymeswithplaguehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10870439618129001633noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-5382856647820920582012-05-17T19:58:12.424+10:002012-05-17T19:58:12.424+10:00I agree, Little Hat - how lovely to see you ere ag...I agree, Little Hat - how lovely to see you ere again - rituals are important. I also enjoy the fact that they take the ordinariness out of our lives. Time markers perhaps. <br /><br />I agree, too, that in our youthful enthusiasm to knock away old icons we may have mistakenly tried to do away with important rituals. But, despite our best efforts, they persevere. As do we.<br /><br />Thanks, Little Hat.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-3562492555669535462012-05-17T19:37:48.577+10:002012-05-17T19:37:48.577+10:00I agree Tracy, the experience of parents days, mot...I agree Tracy, the experience of parents days, mothers or fathers depends in large part on the timing and the nature of the relationships a child has with both parents. For many though it is one of ambivalence at least with one or the other, as you so aptly describe. Mothers Day works for you but not Fathers Day. Neither really work for me. <br /><br />Thanks, Tracy.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-19027094094547799032012-05-17T19:35:03.385+10:002012-05-17T19:35:03.385+10:00Kath, I shall respond in full to this wonderful aw...Kath, I shall respond in full to this wonderful award as soon as I can, hopefully in the next couple of days. <br /><br />Thanks, again.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-67175132229721047902012-05-17T19:33:28.642+10:002012-05-17T19:33:28.642+10:00Renee, it's lovely to see you here. I've ...Renee, it's lovely to see you here. I've just been over to your blog and read your post on mother's day, so different from mine, given your mother's ministrations when you were sick and your daughters' care for you and from you. <br /><br />It is such a beautifully written and poignant piece. My eyes are filled with bittersweet tears. But you survived to see the day when your daughter/s were/are taller than you. <br /><br />Thanks for visiting here, Renee. I'd have left a comment at your blog but I could not get through the word press gizmos, though I tried. At least now I can follow you.<br /><br />You might enjoy reading Hilary Mantel's hospital diary, see: http://www.lrb.co.uk/v32/n21/hilary-mantel/diaryElisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-4478751289822456852012-05-17T18:47:47.311+10:002012-05-17T18:47:47.311+10:00I agree about the commercialism but we have so lit...I agree about the commercialism but we have so little ritual in our modern lives that as I get older i am happy to embrace these "nominated" days on my own terms. Mother's day was an excuise to go out as a family - something we doo frequently anyway but this one had a little more focus to it. Birthdays, anniversaries, cultural days, home made excuses for celebrations and gatherings - I'm for any excuse to celebrate. I'm also for variety and the idea of 'special'. Anything other than every day is the same as the next.<br /><br />I think our generation got a bit too 'pure' in its analysis of ordinary things. My kids taught me to love sport again; my kids taught me that Christmas can be personal and special (in its secular and its christian sense). I've enjoyed embracing thse rituals again.Steve Capelinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14838386764407644146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-25222478289694907922012-05-17T05:52:43.741+10:002012-05-17T05:52:43.741+10:00Since I have a good relationship with my mother, M...Since I have a good relationship with my mother, Mother's Day has always been a sweet, fun event. Father's Day is usually hell for me, loaded with baggage and guilt and all that other BS. <br /><br />I suppose for people who have complicated relationships with both parents, neither day is much fun. Obligatory recognition of a family member who might have made some major mistakes doesn't sound like much of a good time to anyone, I think.Phoenixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07477498671080132176noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-5504788603920515612012-05-16T21:23:46.713+10:002012-05-16T21:23:46.713+10:00HI again Elisabeth
I'm not sure that this is ...HI again Elisabeth<br /><br />I'm not sure that this is entirely your cup of tea, but I've given your blog an award - http://blurbfromtheburbs.blogspot.com/2012/05/lovin-liebster-award.htmlMedicatedMoohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08609190990579743429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-15927530006033960232012-05-16T13:51:07.154+10:002012-05-16T13:51:07.154+10:00Love how memory melds with photos and the "va...Love how memory melds with photos and the "variables" your mother must resort to in which it identify one of her many children. The layering of meaning here is sumptuous. Thank you, ReneeRenee Rhttp://unpackedwriter.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-8743715570733232062012-05-15T21:29:06.517+10:002012-05-15T21:29:06.517+10:00Ah, Jacoba my friend in holland. I have asked my m...Ah, Jacoba my friend in holland. I have asked my mother about my baby photo and we discussed at length who it might be.<br /><br />I am keen to forgive, but only when I have reached a point of understanding. I think I'm there with my mother, but perhaps not with certain other people in my life, mostly outside of my family. <br /><br />To me, forgiveness needs to be earned to some extent. To me, forgiveness is a two way street.<br /><br />Thanks for your good wishes, Jacoba, so special as they come from you and all the way from Holland.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-30911186427662082012012-05-15T21:29:05.864+10:002012-05-15T21:29:05.864+10:00Ah, Jacoba my friend in holland. I have asked my m...Ah, Jacoba my friend in holland. I have asked my mother about my baby photo and we discussed at length who it might be.<br /><br />I am keen to forgive, but only when I have reached a point of understanding. I think I'm there with my mother, but perhaps not with certain other people in my life, mostly outside of my family. <br /><br />To me, forgiveness needs to be earned to some extent. To me, forgiveness is a two way street.<br /><br />Thanks for your good wishes, Jacoba, so special as they come from you and all the way from Holland.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-40896955443216221072012-05-15T21:23:46.819+10:002012-05-15T21:23:46.819+10:00Now there's a double bind if ever there was on...Now there's a double bind if ever there was one, Kirk. It borders on cruel. Perhaps you did not experience it that way, but I think it's important if people want surprises that they accept whatever comes, otherwise they can better direct you, and no receipt need be provided.<br /><br />Thanks, Kirk.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-65970443828844875892012-05-15T21:21:09.009+10:002012-05-15T21:21:09.009+10:00You acted, Ms Moon - sending flowers- rather than...You acted, Ms Moon - sending flowers- rather than with words. I can understand that. At least you tried, which is perhaps more than your mother succeeded in doing at a certain and very vulnerable time in your life.<br /><br />Thanks, Ms Moon.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-52708003908085004262012-05-15T21:18:41.721+10:002012-05-15T21:18:41.721+10:00Your bear hugs are wonderful Rob-bear, and your sh...Your bear hugs are wonderful Rob-bear, and your short reference to your now departed mother and your two infants poignant. Perhaps it's the business of parenting and childhood we need to honour first and foremost.<br /><br />Thanks, Rob-bear.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-8802314363600998062012-05-15T21:16:01.242+10:002012-05-15T21:16:01.242+10:00Once our parents are gone -K-, it's then we mi...Once our parents are gone -K-, it's then we might reflect more keenly on these events, such as Mothers and Fathers Day, and like you, we might hope we honoured them well enough.<br /><br />Thanks, -K-.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-67162715531630422032012-05-15T21:14:31.194+10:002012-05-15T21:14:31.194+10:00It's good to see you again Zuzana. I, too, fin...It's good to see you again Zuzana. I, too, find it hard to get around to visiting other people's blogs as often as I'd like. <br /><br />These events must seem odd to you having been raised in a place where they were not honoured. And I'm not surprised your sick of valentine's day. to me it's one of the worst days as far as commercialism and pressure os concerned.<br /><br />Thanks, Zuzana.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-52922731949172878112012-05-15T21:11:14.894+10:002012-05-15T21:11:14.894+10:00'Expect nothing, but accept everything is my m...'Expect nothing, but accept everything is my motto', seems like a good notion, Juliet. I think the gift that is geared towards genuinely giving pleasure to the recipient , whether flowers, chocolate or spa is perhaps better than the awful stuff that people can sometimes give, like soap or underpants or deodorant. I'm half joking here. I'm glad you enjoyed your son's present.<br /><br />Thanks, Juliet.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-8594787376012716522012-05-15T21:07:34.940+10:002012-05-15T21:07:34.940+10:00I spend a lot of time trying to find meaning in my...I spend a lot of time trying to find meaning in my dreams, Anthony and I agree they are tricky. In a strange way rituals like Mothers Day tend to be easier.<br /><br />Thanks, Anthony.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-1371119970359705102012-05-15T21:05:21.097+10:002012-05-15T21:05:21.097+10:00I'm not one to celebrate Valentine's Day e...I'm not one to celebrate Valentine's Day either, Art. And that day can be even worse for some people who feel terrible when they don't have a Valentine. Valentine's Day has become more of an event here in Australia. In years gone by it hardly featured, whereas Mother's Day has been a big thing for as long as I can remember. <br /><br />I prefer to conduct my personal relationships on my own terms and not have commercial interests or the media and advertising dictate the terms of how I honour my loved ones.<br /><br />Thanks, Art.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-86381743248270192292012-05-15T21:00:33.263+10:002012-05-15T21:00:33.263+10:00A sad legacy here, Ellen. You've done well no...A sad legacy here, Ellen. You've done well not to follow in your mother's footsteps. I appreciate your honesty, too. Your story is one that reinforces my view that it's unfair to impose a day called Mothers day on everyone. I suppose not every mother has earned the recognition the term Mother's Day implies and it's awful when some people are forced into some sort of charade simply to keep up appearances and pacify the narcissistic needs of their parents.<br /><br />Thanks, Ellen.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-76865984263189127782012-05-15T20:56:07.389+10:002012-05-15T20:56:07.389+10:00So Ms Sparrow, despite your blog name, your love i...So Ms Sparrow, despite your blog name, your love is first and foremost for your children and grandchildren. I'm the same way inclined. Our progeny and their progeny tend to come first.<br /><br />I hope you enjoyed your Mothers day.<br /><br />Thanks, Ms Sparrow.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-30996451781208178912012-05-15T20:54:11.989+10:002012-05-15T20:54:11.989+10:00So you have two daughters, Joanne, and each so dif...So you have two daughters, Joanne, and each so different one from the other. I'm inclined to agree with you. it's all about what works within your own idiosyncratic family dynamic.<br /><br />Thanks, Joanne.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-67656516544051101352012-05-15T20:52:13.604+10:002012-05-15T20:52:13.604+10:00I like the name, Jimmy, Jim, though the one Jimmy ...I like the name, Jimmy, Jim, though the one Jimmy in my life happens to be my now sadly dead brother in law. He took to calling himself James several years ago, as a measure of growing up I expect. He was/is the youngest. <br /><br />As for gift giving. I agree, there is no such thing as a gift that's obligatory not in the sense that gifts ought to be. I've stopped buying obligatory gifts. if an event calls for one these days, except for babies, weddings and small children I simply won't buy one. <br />I did not give my mother anything on Mother's Day but by chance I visited here. And she said to me as she pointed out the flowers some others of my siblings had given that she does not believe in Mother's day. <br /><br />It must have been hard to miss out on your daughters growing years. at least now you have more contact, however limited.<br /><br />As for naming in laws as Mum and Dad, I cringe at the thought. My in laws have always been Mr and Mrs to me as have my parents been Mr and Mrs to my husband. It's not about formality but more an effort at some sort of distance. There's a long story there too.<br /><br />Thanks, Jim.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-27200288257045295382012-05-15T18:53:05.070+10:002012-05-15T18:53:05.070+10:00Hi Elisabeth,
Do ask your mother about the photogr...Hi Elisabeth,<br />Do ask your mother about the photograph. Later (when she is not there any more) you will realize why it is important. When the dialogue stops, the book is closed, only open questions remain. Now is the time to ask, ask, ask. However much you might have been conflict it will give you peace.<br />Forgiving is the most difficult thing on earth. I have had endless discussions on this. Do try to forgive your mother. She is unique, hand made so to say, and a human being with all her ups and downs, positive and negative.<br />She is fragile now, your time with her will pass by so quickly ....<br />Love from Holland,<br />JacobaJacobahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01321289399067977071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28133718.post-87660388243572908282012-05-15T09:09:52.500+10:002012-05-15T09:09:52.500+10:00Aren't all holidays seemingly compulsory?
My ...Aren't all holidays seemingly compulsory?<br /><br />My mother used to drive me crazy when it came to presents. I'd ask her what she's want. She'd say, "Surprise me" "Are you SURE you want me to surprise you?" "Yes, Yes!" "you can't even give me a hint?" "No! It's no fun if it's not a surprise!"<br /><br />So I'd inevitably surprise her, she'd inevitably ask for the receipt, so she could take it back and exchange it.Kirkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02155991693956178030noreply@blogger.com