Showing posts with label Scotland. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Scotland. Show all posts

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Far from home

You’d think I’d get over this aversion to travel.  You’d think I’d join the ranks of all those who ooh and aah at the thought of some new country on their horizon, those who love nothing more than to be tourists exploring other people’s back yards.  

But I'm still averse, even after two amazing weeks in Scotland.  

I should start with the positives, the pleasurable moments, the moments of bliss when we drove through the single road from Glasgow up to Fort William through the mountainous peaks of Glencoe in our upgraded hire car – upgraded to a brand new BMW, which was comfortable, but anxiety producing in so far as we feared putting so much as a scratch on its exterior – the insurance excess is phenomenal, even though we paid for it. 

See how easy it is to slip into the negatives. 

We drove through magic territory, the stuff of movies, as in The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, snow capped peaks that loomed down on us through thick mists. 

Ever so romantic from the comfort of our car.  Ever so inspiring, but not when you stepped into it.  Then it was cold beyond belief. 

And everywhere these huge expanses of water, the lochs of Lomond and others, alongside the Trossachs National park.  All the signs written in Gaelic to add to the effect of being in a foreign place. 

Likewise in Edinburgh itself, this extraordinary crag, Arthur’s Seat, which tourists climb from numerous angles.  One cold afternoon I walked around the back of the section they call the crags, alone except for the twenty or so tourists I encountered, and found myself between two gorse covered peaks in a green grassy valley. 

I felt again the awe of the natural world, however much people have spoiled it by their presence. 

That said, I do not enjoy being a tourist, one of the many, who spend their days window shopping on the world. 

Here you see I slip back into the negatives. 

The positives of this trip include, first and foremost spending time with our youngest daughter, which was in fact the reason for our trip in the first place, the reason for our choice of destination, which had been her choice of destination, hers to study in a foreign place on exchange and ours to visit her halfway through her time away. 

She made the trip easier.  She knew the place well enough by then to be able to take us to good restaurants and to help us to avoid the crappy ones. 

Even then when we moved around without her we still found ourselves lunching in a place in Edinburgh called Biblos.
‘Didn’t you know that’s part of a chain, one of those horrible tourist joints?’ our daughter said when I told her about our lack-lustre lunch.  ‘You could have guessed.’  In hindsight, we could have guessed, but by then we were tired and wanted to stop almost anywhere.

If I were in Melbourne, I’d know where to stop and what to avoid, by and large, but that’s another of the hazards of travelling, the stuff of not knowing where to stop for basics, like food and drink. 

The same could be said of accommodation but by and large we chose wisely, though our bed in Oban on the way to the Isle of Mull sloped into the middle and I felt as though I was on the edge of a hill all night rolling down from a high point.  And the bed itself was as hard as a board which made the roll downhill even more unavoidable. 

On the other hand, Strongarbh house, the place we stayed in at the Isle of Mull in Tobermorey, was a place of fairy tales.  The most magnificent house I’ve ever occupied.


On Easter Sunday morning the condensation on the window was so thick I could not see out to the sea below but over time given a hint of sunshine, it cleared.

Strange how much pleasure renders me speechless.  

If I had things to complain about in Tobermorey, I’d have had heaps to write about, but here it was all so magnificent it's hard to gripe. 

In the afternoon we visited the basement library at Strongarbh house, which the owners made available to us as guests and we read and rested, while in the morning we explored the small town, with its curve of coloured shop fronts over the way from a protected bay and there we sensed something of a Scottish way of life that beats all the postcards in existence.


In the heart of me, I enjoyed these experiences, but every time we three knocked heads over some disagreement – which side of the road we might walk on, or where we might head from one moment to the next – I longed for home. 

We seemed so different from one another in Scotland. 

Between the three of us it could become a tussle of our individual insecurities.  Plus we tended to pair off, me and my husband, me and my daughter.  And on occasion I was left alone. 

We fell naturally into these divisions, and there were times when each of us wanted to be alone.  The greatest conflict erupted when all three of us were together.  We are family after all.  And I often wondered about the pressures on family life in what must have been a very difficult environment, given the remoteness of the terrain and the weather.


One day, we visited Glencoe, ‘the glen of tears’ and scene of a major battle in earlier times.  The details evade me, but the sense of walking through that land, occupied by the likes of Lorna Doone, stays with me. Orange covered gorse and dried out ferns long killed by the snow, trees still bare of leaves, and a few leaf buds visible everywhere.

The daffodils sprouted in bunches all over the place in green patches of grass, the grass more green than in Australia, the daffodils more yellow, the yellow of Wordsworth’s day, and during our first few days there, with only one exception, the skies were grey.


I’ve more to write about this trip to Scotland, including meeting my blog friend, Jim Murdoch in Glasgow, but that’s for another day, for now the jet lag renders me speechless. 







Sunday, March 22, 2015

Sensitivity, skin deep

Yesterday, I was trying to find out what was wrong with the vacuum cleaner, one of those whizz bang Dyson things that’s meant to pick up pet hair, and somehow in the process, the suction peeled off skin from my finger.

It seemed a minor injury.  It was a minor injury but the pain I felt through this injury is nothing less than ten out ten, whenever the skinned part comes in contact with water or anything other than fresh air. 

And twenty-four hours later it still weeps.


I told my husband it felt like a burn.  I’m familiar with them.  I’ve burned myself often enough over the stove while cooking, but this is a new one. 

I think of St Bartholomew, the apostle allegedly skinned alive for spreading his faith.

The nerve endings in our skin must be vast, or maybe not on our skin, so much as directly under our skin. 

Just below the epidermis lies a land of sensitivity that’s enough to make your heart and body break.  It’s only a small wound, as I say, and I’m sure in time it’ll be fine.  but under this morning’s shower…

 For now it has stopped hurting because I hold my finger gently above the other fingers, give it air, and freedom from further abrasion. 

Speaking of which, there have been a few of late, abrasions that is.  More the familial kind.  We are having a battle in my family of origin about the nature of our family archive. 

To me an archive is a collection box for memories of the past, but my older brother wants it to have a more formal ring.  He wants it to include only historical documents, photographs and other memorabilia of the family. 

This brother does not consider memoir written by contemporary, still living, people sufficient to include in the archive. 

My various siblings and I battle over this.  Though many refuse to participate and are silent, the other half are drawn in and argue over the rights and wrongs of this. 

Why not have two boxes in the archive, my husband reckons?  One for the official stuff that clearly warrants a place in the archive, though once upon a time some of this would have been contestable, too – my mother’s memoir for instance.  There are enough of her siblings who reckon my mother got things wrong.  Not that memoir can ever be about absolute facts and truthfulness, though there are some who demand it. 

In any case, my husband suggests we have one box for the archival of the clearly-past and another box that can act as a sort of clearinghouse. Things like people’s stories of their lives, their recollections, can go into the clearing house, to be corrected as necessary, and in time after some people die, be moved over to the official archive. 

One of my other brothers put up his chronicles and it has upset some people, both for its inaccuracies and in places for its insensitivities.

At times, he writes about things that are somewhat at a distance from him, despite popping up in his diary.  Events that perhaps others should be free to write about when they feel ready, or not at all, but not have this brother display it as a family event on the page for all to see without analysis or relevance or context.

That said, this brother, in my view, has every right to put up his stories – not stories more a diarising of events over part of his life time – even if others disagree.

 The old archival footage is non-contestable, almost – there’s no one alive involved who could protest – but the other stuff, the stuff that pertains to those of us who are still alive, is like trying to hold a boiling saucepan with no handle. 

How do we pick it up without getting scalded, or skinned?

And then next week, we escape from it all, with a sojourn to Scotland.

As my husband said to me over dinner last night, ‘Who would have dreamed that we would ever go to Scotland?’ It seems so far out of our familiar orbit: the Dutch, the German, the Irish, the English. 

But our youngest daughter decided that Edinburgh University was calling and that’s where she is living for a few more months now and that’s where we will follow, for a couple of weeks. 

Only a short time to swallow all that difference and distance, but enough perhaps to get a taste. 

While we are in Glasgow, we will meet with one of my best blogging friends, Jim Murdoch, and his wife Carrie, and the virtual world that is the blogosphere will for an hour or so – and in some ways forevermore – become real.    

Our son-in-law’s parents, who will travel from Germany to visit him and his small family, will stay in our house and care for our dog and cats, while we traipse though the Highlands for adventure. 

Children force you on adventures you might otherwise not venture into.  It takes that much to get me away from the comfort and ostensible certainty of my life at home - notwithstanding the unexpected wounds.  

But that’s a whole other story, why it is that, unlike so many people I know, I prefer not to travel further afield than Victoria. 

Burned by the grief of my mother’s immigration to Australia over fifty years ago, and her heart overladen with a grief too heavy for her to carry, I shared it with her, that grief, even though I was born here. 

I know from my mother, what it’s like to be forced away from your home.  Hence my compassion for all those who come here from other lands, for whatever reasons.  

They lose touch with their idea of home.